The unfathomable vastness of the universe boggles the mind. The sheer size of deep space is immense beyond our comprehension. To put it in perspective for us on our modest-sized planet circling a run-of-the-mill star, if the sun were the size of the dot in this letter i, it would be really dark here and we’d all be stubbing our toes on the furniture all the time. We could no doubt find our way around by using the light from our smartphones, but after millions of aeons, the last battery would finally run out and the last light would dwindle away and we’d be forced to bundle up our feet in filthy, probably yogourt-soaked rags, for protection against the unforgiving edges of IKEA products. The only alternative is to make this font so incredibly large that the dot over this i is greater than 400 thousand undecillion Olympic swimming pools stacked end to end, but that would make reading inconceivably difficult and would require more ink than can be produced by an infinite number of football fields spanning the globe, folded lengthwise and crenellated and julienned hyper-diagonally in seventeen dimensions. Space. It is amazingly large.
The idea of euthanasia is, yes, controversial. The controversy seems immortal, as it were, but my thinking on this is that the controversy can be skirted altogether.
Actively ending someone’s life at their request, or even standing by passively as they voluntarily end their own suffering, is sure to stir up a firestorm of emotion and protest. But you’ll encounter very little opposition if, rather than taking someone right to the metaphorical edge of the precipice overlooking death, you just bring them a few steps from that point. So, rather than shopping around for the right pharmaceuticals to induce death, or administering them to the person who has chosen to die, or otherwise getting ensnared in messy legal and moral tangles, you can simply get someone a gift certificate to go skydiving, or bungee jumping, or some other high-risk activity. Perhaps help them to build their own light plane in their own garage and encourage them to get their pilot’s licence. Get them a job in an underground mine. Buy them a ticket for a bus ride through Andean mountain passes. Or maybe just take them to the hospital, where it’s been estimated that 180,000 people a year across the globe die of medical errors. The point is, euthanasia isn’t the only way — there are other options. And the great thing about this approach is that you can use it as a legal form of murder, too. We’ve all been there — needing to get rid of a boss, a spouse, some random guy who’s listening to his headphones too loud on the bus. But when that happens, don’t stoop to murder, take the high road and send them on a hang gliding adventure, or use your connections to get them a job on an offshore oil rig.
This time it’s different. Through the ages, warnings of the imminent end of the world have been frequent, but it seems they were all premature. But… have you noticed this lately? The very nature of reality is shifting, subtly but unmistakably. Every single time I call a customer service line, I’m told that they’re experiencing higher than usual call volumes. Every single time. In what kind of world can something always be higher than usual? Think about it. I have no idea what’s coming, but I’d say start getting your house in order.