I’m starting to notice a pattern. You know how every time you hear about an “act of God”, it’s some kind of tragic destruction? Well, I’m not saying I’m questioning God’s benevolence, but it does raise eyebrows.
Nowadays, people think it’s a slur against teachers — “Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach” — but that’s just a grammatical mix-up. The original expression had no punctuation. It was biting social commentary about how employees at fish … Continue reading →
My body is a temple. A Shirley Temple: a bit fruity, not very intoxicating, and yet too much of it can make you queasy.* * I realize that this joke could go in some troubling directions. … Continue reading →
Potential pick-up line to use when liasing with representatives of companies and governments: “I’d like to propose a pubic-privates partnership”.
They say Colonel Sanders was turned down 1008 times before things started to work out. The take-home message is that if I get a white suit and grow an awesome goatee, my success rate will skyrocket.
I don’t want to freak you out, but what if the groundhog isn’t predicting the weather, but instead it’s… controlling it? Sorry, I know this is uncomfortable to think about.
So there I was, trying to be optimistic like they tell you to, but then it hit me. I stopped dead in my tracks and a chill ran down my spine. Clouds don’t have silver linings. They don’t have linings … Continue reading →