There’s a lot of talk about the so-called ‘obesity epidemic’, but not much understanding of its implications. While much lip service is paid to the problem, the troubling fact is that no one really takes it seriously enough. Consider this: as obesity rates climb, the overall mass of the Earth is also increasing, causing the Earth’s orbit to enlarge dangerously. If current trends continue, the Earth will be flung out of the solar system by 2015 and all earthly life will die a catastrophic, fiery death in a delicious supernova-collision/confit/flambé/grease-fire-type incident. Clearly, the challenges the obesity epidemic poses are substantial — the sheer scope and immensity of the problem are of a proportion we can scarcely get our arms around. We must all work together to share the ponderous, hefty load. Obesity has become a widespread problem of not just enormous and gargantuan proportions, but even astronomical and cosmic proportions. It looms over us, threatening to crush us under its monstrous, overwhelming expanse. It’s indescribably huge! If we don’t do something about it now, it will eat us alive! This is heavy stuff. Certainly, we’ve got a lot to chew on.
That said, it’s of no help to anyone to make light of this issue. This is a very weighty subject, and we should treat it with the requisite gravitas. Hey, that’s interesting — I just noticed that that word is kind of like ‘gravity’ and ‘ass’ put together.